Miss Guided

I had a dream last night that I was at a dinner party and the host died because she tried to poison my food, but I switched plates with her like a goddamn genius. And right as she was falling over I told her Jessica Fletcher taught me everything I know. Then Dolly Parton came in to solve the crime, because I guess Jessica was stuck in Cabot Cove or whatever, and she said “Well, she gone and done it to herself, crazy bitch.”  And then I had dinner with Dolly Parton. What I learned from this is that being awake is pointless and liquid Benedryl is the greatest invention ever.